


Everything Is Okay

by pencilguin



Series: Fictober 2018 [11]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17189459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilguin/pseuds/pencilguin
Summary: ... except it's not, and Paul's not telling Hugh. A different toothbrush scene.





	Everything Is Okay

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Tumblr as part of the Fictober 2018 challenge. Unbeta'd; I apologize for any mistakes that might still be in there.  
> And sorry it's so short. :(

“Paul, are you sure that everything is okay?”

Paul looks over, with the toothbrush still hanging from his mouth, to see Hugh frowning at him.

“Yeah, sure, why do you keep asking that?”

“Because you’ve been different lately.”

“Yes,” Paul says, turning back towards his reflection in the mirror. “I thought we’d concluded that that’s the spore effect wearing off.”

There’s a long pause. Paul can feel Hugh’s eyes on him, starts feeling uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

“That’s not what I mean and you know that.”

Paul very decidedly avoids looking at him.

After another long stretch of silence, Hugh finally sighs and walks away from the sink. He puts a hand on Paul’s shoulder as he says, “I hope you know that you can always talk to me about anything, no matter what.” Then he leaves.

Paul stays behind alone, lowers his toothbrush and braces himself against the sink, staring down. He can’t stand the sight of his own reflection right now.

_Hopefully one day_ , he thinks. _One day I’ll tell you, but you’re not gonna like it. I’m sorry, Hugh._

He closes his eyes because the headache behind his eyes and really everywhere else is flaring up again, like fire burning his synapses. The image of the room imprinted onto the inside of his eyelids starts flickering and blurring. The floor wobbles underneath his feet, and reality and memory melt into something unfamiliar for a moment.

His fingertips press into the counter until they start to hurt, and with the growing pain, the tide slowly recedes.

_I wish I didn’t have to hurt you like this, but if I told you, I would hurt you more._ He opens his eyes again. _I hope one day you will understand._

He takes a few more steady breaths until his hands and the rest of his body stop shaking and his eyelid stops from twitching and his lips no longer tremble, and then he straightens his back and walks out of the bathroom to go to bed where Hugh already is, hoping to make some amends for tonight.

_I will happily talk to you about anything and everything in the world, Hugh. But not this here right now_ , he thinks. _But not this._


End file.
